I will now call to mind my past foulness, and the carnal corruptions of my soul, not because I love them, but that I may love Thee, O my God. For love of Thy love do I it, recalling, in the very bitterness of my remembrance, my most vicious ways, that Thou mayest grow sweet to me,—Thou sweetness without deception! -Augustine, Confessions (20)
I confess to you my sins—my lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, and boastful pride of life (1 Jn. 2:15-16)—not because my salvation depends on it, but to enjoy a sweeter relationship with You. Why would I try to nullify Your grace by putting myself under the law (Gal. 2:21)? By my daily confession I seek to exalt my Savior all the more and to rely on the same grace to live for You.
Even though You have sought me as a Good Shepherd (Lk. 5:4-7), my love for the world often surpasses my love for You. O Lord, You have searched me and known me and have shown me the wickedness of my heart (Ps. 139:1). I know my transgressions and my sin is ever before me (Ps. 51:3). They are sin because they are against the Perfect and Righteous God (Ps. 51:4). I attempt to add to Your unchanging truth through my deeds and out of my pride I seek to counsel the Sovereign Lord (Pr. 30:6). As Your sheep I hear Your voice (Jn. 10:27), but so often I turn around to seek after my own interests, not those of Christ Jesus (Php. 2:21).
Almighty God, who could stand before You if You were to mark all the iniquities (Ps. 130:3)? What would I do if I were judged by my own righteousness? It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God (Heb. 10:31) who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell (Matt. 10:28)!
But Father, I see Your promises in the Bible and I do believe them. I hear the sweetest sound that saved a wretch like me. I am saved by grace through faith (Eph. 2:8-9), so I will only boast in Jesus Christ (Gal. 6:14). You have removed the heart of stone from my flesh (Ezek. 36:26) and opened my eyes so that I may behold wondrous things out of Your law (Ps. 119:18). I know that Your wrath will not come upon me (Eph. 5:6), for I am Your child (Jn. 1:12) and Your slave bought with price (1 Cor. 6:20). Why would I seek to continue in my sin and re-submit myself to the yoke of sin from which Christ has freed me (Rom. 6:1-2; 1 Jn. 2:1)?
Gracious God, You said that You are opposed to the proud, but give grace to the humble. So I humble myself in Your presence—my laughter turns into mourning and my joy to gloom before my sins (Jas. 4:6-10). I am hungry for the Bread of Life (Jn. 6:35) and thirsty for the Fountain of Living Water (Jn. 4:14). I come to You, O Christ, to eat and drink without money and without cost, for I desire to spend all You have given me to delight myself in You (Isa. 55:1-2).
Search me and know my heart, O God; try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way (Ps. 139:23-24). As You search my heart, do not give me over to my lustful and depraved mind (Jer. 17:10; Rom. 1:24, 28), but make me more like my Savior as I behold His glory (2 Cor. 3:18). Keep deception and lies far from me—not only from outward lies of the world, but also from my own deceitful heart (Pr. 30:8; Jer. 17:9).
I come to You to find rest for my soul, for I am weary and heavy-laden (Matt. 11:28-30). I come to You because I know that I have peace with You through my Lord Jesus Christ (Rom. 5:1-2). I come to You to behold the beauty of my Lord and to meditate on who You are (Ps. 27:4). I desire to walk with the Spirit as I live by the Spirit (Gal. 5:25), so that I may live a life pleasing to You (Eph. 5:10). I am not capable of doing anything apart from You (Jn. 15:5). But I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me (Gal. 2:20).
God, I love You, because You have first loved me (1 Jn. 4:19); and I want to love You more. Help me to love You with all my heart, soul, strength, and mind (Lk. 10:27).
In Christ’s Precious Name I pray—amen.
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The CGO Blog
Written by the CGO staff, with guest posts from students and other faculty/staff at BJU to provide thought leadership for missions in a new millennium.